Hey y'all.
You know how everyone tries to tell you to relax and just let some things go? Well I took that literally this year and decided to take just over two weeks off of work! I know. In a row!
It turns out that I always give vacation back. I know that they count on that in the corporate world as that can mean a profit. Do they have that in higher ed too? I feel like everyone I know gives days back without using them because there just isn't time. And I also see those people who take weeks and weeks off each year and I am jealous that they always seem to be on vacation.
Well I decided to stop living someone else's idea of vacation and take my own again. I was used to taking time off in June and July when ResLife was slower and did not need me. This year since I have moved out of ResLife I decided to leave in December. I took almost all of the vacation days I have left and brought them to Florida. It is wonderful.
Here are some of my observations:
1. Handicap accessibility. I am staying in a state park but all over in this western, gulf side of Florida there are signs for barrier free walk ways and free beach wheel chairs. I saw a woman today use one of those wheel chairs for oxygen tank because it was getting caught in the sand as she rolled it. I have just enjoyed seeing those things.
2. Everything really is slower down here. I have been an eager bunny- I wake up at first light, brush my teeth and head to the beach. But no one else is there! I am wondering why anyone would squander even one minute of this precious vitamin D. It could be because the locals are used to it and think it will never end-I can tell by their sunkissed skin that they don't miss many days. But haven't they heard of global warming? Maybe they all voted for Trump and don't believe it-but these days might not last forever. Or I am midwestern crazy for sun and sand because my homeland is currently under a blanket of snow.
3. Doing nothing feels good. Don't get me wrong-I have days of doing nothing up north. But there is something different about doing it in the breeze or in your tent far from home. I have been surprising myself with the infrequency of anxiety girl these past couple of days.
4. Battery operated fans are a blessing. I never knew the power of a battery operated 6 inch fan until this trip. It is miraculous.
As usual I am finding adventure with every turn. From a power line sparking the palm tree above my tent, to a tricky raccoon trying to outwit me, to find dive bars while looking for the local post office-I am trying hard to be a local tourist. Except for tomorrow. Tomorrow I am going to Disney and Universal Studios. Because who knows when I will be back here again.
I am starting to talk to myself about the joys of Florida just as Cliff Clavin did in the series Cheers. I hope I can find an audience that is less annoyed with my Florida knowledge than Sam, Carla, Norm and Diane.
You know those hugs that you melt into?
The ones with two arms and hands wrapped around you?
But one hand covers your whole back?
The kind of hug where one just sinks into a delicious calm?
Stress, fear, concern, sadness, and all the troubles of the time just go away in hugs like that.
I need one of those hugs...stat.
Hello Blog lovers!
I am back! My blog has been resurrected. Today I come to you from my local tavern. I am surrounded by people wearing Trump hats and "Nobama" stickers. It is a different world today. It is hard to scroll to facebook today and read the comments of my heartbroken friends and former students. Trump is blaming a lot of things on the media, blame regularly placed there. There are lots of thoughts I can share on this topic and how we can move forward. But something even larger is overshadowing our thoughts on campus after the election.
A student chose to end his life feeling as though he had no option. The community here is shocked and saddened. More than can be expressed in a notice to the community or a meeting for students. I go to work each day aiming to improve a day or make an impression for our students. I want them all to know that they have help on campus in a variety of areas. We want you to succeed. We want to direct you to resources to help you-the last thing we want a student to think is that they are alone.
All day today I have been talking about suicide, reminding myself and others that when someone makes the decision to die by suicide-they made that decision. It is not something we did, or said, or didn't do or say. It is hard to think of the student's younger brother, and the pain his mother and father are experiencing. I had a whole different perspective on death yesterday than anything I had experienced before. I am about to get real here and talk about my personal experiences with death so if that is not your cup of tea- skip to section B.
When Ferdinand died all I wanted was to go to the scene, see the accident, see him- no matter how hard that might be. I wanted to be the one to identify and confirm it was him. I was almost obsessed with knowing- maybe it was because I did not believe it and wanted to prove to myself that it was not true. When the funeral home director offered to prepare Ferdinand for his sister and I to see him-even though we elected cremation-we both agreed we needed to see him. It was both the best and the worst thing that I have ever done. The accident involved a motorcycle and a truck-so you can imagine what Mike did for us preparing his body. For once Ferdinand listened to my constant nagging to wear his helmet-he hated that I made him do so-but he did that day. I was able to see his face. I was able to see his eyelashes where they split it that one spot that I am never going to be able to forget. That is how I knew it was him. I held on to my doubt until that moment.
Section B.
Welcome back. Yesterday there was lots of discussion about identifying the student, of notifying other family members, of what to do with the rest of students on campus... I met this student's dad. I talked with him, I saw his face, it was hard. It was interesting though, I did not think too much of my experiences, it did not bring up memories or things that were hard. I was focused on the pain I know this dad was feeling, I was focused on how to be helpful, how to expedite things, how to address things on campus. It was almost surreal and strange how focused I was. Today I have been less focused and more pensive about things. Thinking more critically.
My heart breaks for students on campus, for students who feel that pain, for people who feel helpless. I am not sure my motivation for this post other than to post that I give a lot of shits about Ripon College, Ripon students, anyone who feels helpless. People like me are out there. People who care are there to listen, to really hear you, they want to hear you. No matter what-no one is a burden-everyone is worth it. EVERYONE.
