You know those hugs that you melt into?
The ones with two arms and hands wrapped around you?
But one hand covers your whole back?
The kind of hug where one just sinks into a delicious calm?
Stress, fear, concern, sadness, and all the troubles of the time just go away in hugs like that.
I need one of those hugs...stat.
Hello Blog lovers!
I am back! My blog has been resurrected. Today I come to you from my local tavern. I am surrounded by people wearing Trump hats and "Nobama" stickers. It is a different world today. It is hard to scroll to facebook today and read the comments of my heartbroken friends and former students. Trump is blaming a lot of things on the media, blame regularly placed there. There are lots of thoughts I can share on this topic and how we can move forward. But something even larger is overshadowing our thoughts on campus after the election.
A student chose to end his life feeling as though he had no option. The community here is shocked and saddened. More than can be expressed in a notice to the community or a meeting for students. I go to work each day aiming to improve a day or make an impression for our students. I want them all to know that they have help on campus in a variety of areas. We want you to succeed. We want to direct you to resources to help you-the last thing we want a student to think is that they are alone.
All day today I have been talking about suicide, reminding myself and others that when someone makes the decision to die by suicide-they made that decision. It is not something we did, or said, or didn't do or say. It is hard to think of the student's younger brother, and the pain his mother and father are experiencing. I had a whole different perspective on death yesterday than anything I had experienced before. I am about to get real here and talk about my personal experiences with death so if that is not your cup of tea- skip to section B.
When Ferdinand died all I wanted was to go to the scene, see the accident, see him- no matter how hard that might be. I wanted to be the one to identify and confirm it was him. I was almost obsessed with knowing- maybe it was because I did not believe it and wanted to prove to myself that it was not true. When the funeral home director offered to prepare Ferdinand for his sister and I to see him-even though we elected cremation-we both agreed we needed to see him. It was both the best and the worst thing that I have ever done. The accident involved a motorcycle and a truck-so you can imagine what Mike did for us preparing his body. For once Ferdinand listened to my constant nagging to wear his helmet-he hated that I made him do so-but he did that day. I was able to see his face. I was able to see his eyelashes where they split it that one spot that I am never going to be able to forget. That is how I knew it was him. I held on to my doubt until that moment.
Section B.
Welcome back. Yesterday there was lots of discussion about identifying the student, of notifying other family members, of what to do with the rest of students on campus... I met this student's dad. I talked with him, I saw his face, it was hard. It was interesting though, I did not think too much of my experiences, it did not bring up memories or things that were hard. I was focused on the pain I know this dad was feeling, I was focused on how to be helpful, how to expedite things, how to address things on campus. It was almost surreal and strange how focused I was. Today I have been less focused and more pensive about things. Thinking more critically.
My heart breaks for students on campus, for students who feel that pain, for people who feel helpless. I am not sure my motivation for this post other than to post that I give a lot of shits about Ripon College, Ripon students, anyone who feels helpless. People like me are out there. People who care are there to listen, to really hear you, they want to hear you. No matter what-no one is a burden-everyone is worth it. EVERYONE.
